


As close as you can get

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Summary: The reader finds herself in apartment 8J.Is this an alternate universe?Where is Arthur?And how close can you possibly get?
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You
Kudos: 7





	As close as you can get

A golden beam of sunlight hits the green pillows on the worn ot couch, which feel so familiar to the touch.  
You wonder how yuo got here. This isnt yor home. But at the same time it is. It feels like home. More than any other place in the world. Or shold yo say....universe.  
This isnt even the same universe you were born into. You know it isnt. But yo`re still here. Breathing. Are you really breathing?  
Are yo breathing the same air HE does?  
The man that chanced yor life forever the second yo saw him? Life has never been the same every since your heart containes every fragement of his glorious existence. Since your mind is filled with images of the corner of his mouth as it forms to a smirk. His eyelids fluttering while he is smoking. Eyelashes protecting his green eyes like a curtain. The galaxies behind the curtain not for everyone to see.  
Images of the sunlight hitting his brown curls, dancing golden in his neck, still sweaty from the nightmares that hanted him in the middle of the night.  
Images of his gentle hands floathing gracefully through the air while he frees his soul in form of a dance.  
The same hands that touched these pillows.  
You reach out your hand to touch the fabric. Your fingertips soaking up the ghost of his touch. This is where he sleeps. There is not much space. It would be difficult to sleep side by side on here. Bt you would make it work. You would make yorself as small as possible, pressing your body against his tiney body, so tight and close you would become ONE body.  
You dream about lying behind him, wrapping your arms around his bruised back, kissing along the lines of his sharp bones, burying your face in his hair. Breathing in his scent.  
You take the pillow in your hands and press it softly against your face. Taking a deep breath. You never got to smell him. But every time you got to bed, you imagined how his hair would smell like. How it would feel to have his curls falling onto your face as you fall asleep.  
The pillow smelled exactly as you imagined. So familiar, even thogh you never met him. He was in your heart, he manifested in yor soul like a spirit that protected you from reality. Oh how much you wished for him to manifest in your life too. In the worldyou lived in.  
How is this even possible?  
Are you hallucinating? Jus like him?  
Is this a dream?  
Are yo asleep in your bed at home. In that universe where is is a fctional character?  
Or is this real? Did you finally managed to cross the border to where he truly lives?  
You`tre still breathing into his pillow. Its his. It`s really his. This is the pillow he rests his head on while he tries to sleep at night, while insomnia is torturing him. This is the pillow he sleeps on while he is dreaming of someone to hold, someone to love. To touch. You press the soft texture all over your body, let it slide down your throath, your chest, belly and pelvis. You stop right there. This feels so right. So true.   
You slowly start to take your clothes off.  
Piece by piece.  
You need to feel this with all your senses.  
With yor whole skin.  
You long for the feeling of lying naked on his couch.   
No border between you and the fabric he sleeps on.  
Nothing should seperate the two of you anymore.  
He might not be here in person but this is the closest you can get.  
You try to imagin its his body, pressed against yours with eyes closed. The pillow becomes his torso, his manifestation. The invisible fingerprints all over the pillow are touching you now.You lay your naked body down on his couch.  
His sleeping place. His home.  
The pillow is resting between yout thighs now.  
Its him.  
Its Arthur. You can feel it.  
The cuchions worn out as his soul ,but so soft to the touch it almost makes you cry.  
How many years has he spent here? All his life.  
Those chushions and pillows and blankets. They have seen so much of him. Felt so much of him. They felt the weight of his body every night. Carrying him into sleep. Watching him dream. The good dreams and the bad ones. They hear him whisper and mumble in his sleep.  
They know so much abot him. The walls here know him well.  
You never want to leave this room.  
This is your eternal womb.  
Your afterlife.  
You feel like this is where you will be reborn to spent eternity with the man you adored so much.  
This couch has watched him living his life....every day stuff. The important things. Full of details that make him HIM.  
How he smokes his cigarette while he writes into his journal. Inhaling the smoke like he lived on it. No one smokes like he does. The intensivity in his eyes while he is sucking on that damn stick makes yor body shiver with passion.  
Oh how much you wished to be that smoke. To be inhaled by him. To make your way into his lungs and stay there, helping him breathe. In and out. In and out. Without ever leaving his insides again.  
You lie on your back, the pillow still pressed against your body like you`re holding him closely. The embrace you always wanted to give him. He needed it.   
Where is he?  
If his home is real ,he must be.  
"Artur" you mumble into the pillow, smelling the remains of the smoke that once filled his lungs.  
Lying there with your whole body exposed feels like sharing a bed with him. You take one of the blankets and cover yourself with it. Roll yourself up in a ball of love. If only he would find you here.  
is there any chance the door might open and Arthur would come in? Finding you on his couch? How would he react? Would he be scared of you? Would he recognize you from his dreams? His fantasies? Would he crawl up under the blankets with yo and never let yo go again? Calling you his angel? His one and only person?  
Its starts getting hot under his blankets. Is this how the warmth of his body would feel like?  
You slip under the blankets compleately, until your whole body including your face is covered with it. Its getting harder to breath after a while but you dont care. You want to be covered and protected by his sheets. This feels so personal. Its like sharing lives. Sharing dreams. This is the closest you can get.  
Oh Arthur, where are you?  
You feel the urge to wander around his apartment, to touch everything.  
To take a bath in his bathtube. Let the hot water embrace you like his arms would.  
To sit on his desk. Where many pages of his diry were born.  
To touch his jornal. The pages. Every on of it. To soak it in with your fingertips. Letter for letter. Scribble for scribble. Even the blacked out pages. Especially the blacked out ones. Every black spot he draws is poetry to you.   
To breathe where he was breathing.  
You miss him so much, your whole body starts to hurt as you uncover your face to get some air.  
He`s missing from you like a part of yor body has been cut off . A part of your inner voice.  
Maybe he feels the same way.  
Maybe this is the reason he feels so hollow inside.  
Because you are missing from him.  
Maybe you are one soul destined to live in the same body.  
Maybe the universe made a mistake.  
Maybe this is its way to make up for it.  
Maybe thats why you`re here.  
And maybe Arthur Fleck will eventally walk through that door.  
Maybe any minute.  
Maybe a thousand years from now.  
Time has no meaning in apartment 8J.  
You can wait.


End file.
